


Beg Pardon

by Tallulah_Rasa



Category: Stargate SG-1, The West Wing
Genre: Crossover, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5929981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>President Bartlet's end-of-year pardons include a Thanksgiving turkey and a Jaffa warrior.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beg Pardon

**Author's Note:**

> A while back, Ivorygates mentioned wanting to read a WW/SG-1 crossover, and Vickita sent me a YouTube clip from the WW ep, "Shibboleth." You can probably guess where this led. *g* For story purposes, let's call this *very* early SG-1, during Bartlet's first year in office.

 

 "A President is called upon to do a great many things," the President said gravely as his senior staff trooped into the Oval Office.  "Some of those things," he added, "are more reasonable than others."

 

"Yes, Sir," C.J. said when it appeared no one else would.

 

"Not that I don't see the value and importance of rituals," the President went on, swinging his suit jacket on with perhaps a bit more theatricality than normal. "But they take a hell of a lot of time, and I'm a busy man."  He looked across the room, stopping on each member of his staff for just a moment.  "I'm the President of the United States, you know."

 

"Yeah, I heard something about that," Leo deadpanned.

 

"Leo, you can be replaced," President Bartlet said, striding around his desk.  "But before I do that, I will issue a pardon, and I will do it with the proper mixture of pomp and gravitas, for this action is – what is this action, C.J.?"

 

"Both a  moral and a diplomatic imperative for this administration," C.J. recited, after scanning a card Sam had surreptitiously passed her.

 

"That's right," the President said approvingly.  "Luckily, I've had some experience with pardons.  I believe that just recently I pardoned a turkey, and with great aplomb, I might add.  Did I not pardon a turkey with aplomb, Leo?"

 

"You did," Leo said.

 

"The turkey was very grateful," Toby added dryly.

 

"Too bad he's not a registered voter," Josh said as an aside, and everyone pretended he hadn't.

 

"You remarks at the time were both compassionate and heartfelt," said Sam, who hadn't even had a hand in writing the last fourteen drafts.

 

"But now," C.J. broke in, "you need to do it again."

 

"I need to pardon another turkey?" the President asked.

 

"No, Sir," C.J. said wearily.

 

"Because I _know_ it hasn't been a year since the last one."

 

"No, Sir, it's only been three weeks since Thanksgiving.  But you've seen the urgent requests from Homeworld Security and the SGC, and you know that this window of opportunity is perhaps the only time for you to issue a pardon to—"

 

Mrs. Landingham broke in then, knocking and then, uncharacteristically, opening the door without waiting for the President's okay.  She ushered in Charlie, Jack O'Neill, and then…

 

"The Jaffa warrior known as Teal'c," C.J. finished, when Mrs. Landingham seemed beyond words.

 

"I'll just be at my desk," Mrs. Landingham said, closing the door.

 

"I will not bow down to any false gods," Teal'c announced, standing straight with his hands clasped behind his back.

 

"I'm with you there," President Bartlet said.  "Anyone else?"

 

"I think it goes without saying," Toby said.  He eyed Teal'c, who gazed back steadily and then minutely inclined his head.

 

"Well, then, we're all in agreement," the President said.  "Now, where do you stand on shaking hands?  Yes? No?"

 

Teal'c turned to look at Jack, who nodded.

 

Teal'c raised an eyebrow and, turning back, majestically lifted and waved first one hand, and then the other.  

 

"Not literally," Jack stage whispered, and Teal'c dropped his hands to his sides.  "Didn't Daniel brief you on this?"

 

"Daniel Jackson and I spent an afternoon discussing traditional greetings across many cultural groups, and comparing them to the ritual salutations of cultures I have encountered," Teal'c said.

 

Jack closed his eyes.

 

"Well, maybe we can skip the hand shaking," the President said, "though the history is really quite fascinating; the practice was first adopted to show that parties encountering one another were unarmed, and today…"

 

"And today," Toby said smoothly, "we have metal detectors that accomplish the same thing, so perhaps we can move beyond ritual greetings and…move on?"

 

"That man has no soul," the President said to Teal'c.

 

"That is a grave impairment," Teal'c said.

 

"I think so, too," the President said, as Toby scowled and everyone else in the room tried not to laugh.  "Well, Teal'c – may I call you Teal'c?  Is there an honorific I should use?"

 

"You may refer to me as Teal'c, or Teal'c of Chulak," Teal'c said.  "I have renounced my previous role as First Prime to Apophis, and it will be many years before I may legitimately be deemed  Master, as is my mentor, Master Bra'tec."

 

"Very well, Teal'c of Chulak.  I've read the files sent over by General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill, and Dr. Jackson.  Dr. Jackson's was especially persusasive."

 

"And moving," Sam added.

 

Toby muttered something about Latinate words and commas.

 

"Frankly," the President continued, "I don't believe you've done anything for which I – or anyone else on this planet – can, or need, to pardon you.  But as I learned this past Thanksgiving, protocols must be observed.  And people," he went on, giving C.J. a meaningful look, "are _very_ attached to their ceremonies."

 

"Indeed," Teal'c said.  "I watched the televised event during which you encountered a large, condemned fowl, and gave it leave to live out its life in peace at a patting collective." 

 

"Petting zoo," Jack corrected.

 

"As you say," Teal'c said. "Though, for my part,  I would prefer to remain at the SGC, fighting against the enemies of the Tau'ri."

 

"As you would," Josh said.  "I mean, petting zoos aren't for everyone.  Sam, for instance, hates them."

 

"I don't _hate_ them, I'm just allergic to the—" Sam began sheepishly, but Leo cut him off.

 

"I don't think that will be a problem," he said.  "The President's pardon just ensures that you can live in this country as a free man…free Jaffa, excuse me…without fear of prosecution or confinement for deeds you might have done on…on other worlds."

 

"That means a great deal to me," Teal'c said impassively.

 

C.J. produced a piece of paper, which President Bartlet signed with a flourish.  "Done!" he said.  

 

"I am grateful," Teal'c said with a slight bow.  "You are, as Daniel Jackson says, a wise leader, and a man of compassion and understanding." 

 

"Is Dr. Jackson a registered voter?" Josh asked.

 

Jack made a face.  "His last permanent address was on the planet of Abydos."

 

"So, no, then," Josh said thoughtfully.  

 

"If it helps, he's thinking of renting a place in Colorado Springs," Jack added.

 

"When he does, remind him to register to vote," the President said, rubbing his hands.  "Now, what's next?"

 

"Lunch," Leo said.

 

"Excellent!" the President said.  "Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c, shall we celebrate this momentous occasion with a meal?"

 

"Will there be a ring of gelatin?" Teal'c asked.

 

Everyone stared at him.  "I didn't know you were that fond of Jello," Jack said.

 

"I…have read some interesting descriptions of its role in your culture," Teal'c said.  "Perhaps they were not germane to this situation." He bowed once more.  "I offer sincere expressions of regret, and am prepared to make  appropriate reparations if I have offended you."

 

" 'Pardon me,'" Jack said to him.  "That's what you say, 'Pardon me.' " 

 

"No need," the President said with a smile.  "I already did."

 

"Indeed," Teal'c said, breaking out in a smile himself.  "Indeed."

 

 


End file.
